Long-time Metropolis Comix employee, Adam Dwight became self-consciously aware last Thursday of how much he conforms to the media stereotype of a 'massive geek'.
The 36 year old Plebville, Wyoming resident began to question several of his life choices when he caught sight of himself in a shop window.
"I was crossing the road during my lunch hour when I got a glimpse of my reflection in the window of Nuts about Walnuts. Needless to say I was shocked by what I saw!" Mr. Dwight said. "Basically I saw an obese guy with glasses, ginger hair, a pony-tail and a beard clad in a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts. All I needed was a greasy burrito clutched in my hand and I would have been the biggest walking stereotype of all time! Fortunately I'd just finished eating my burrito two minutes prior."
This sudden revelation has shaken Mr. Dwight's entire sense of self.
"I've never really thought of myself as a nerd before," he said. "I mean, sure, I work part-time in a comic book store, I cried when Chewbacca was killed in that Star Wars EU novel, I can speak Borg, I play Everquest II 15 hours a day and I have never had a girlfriend. But I didn't think that all those thing were somehow connected. Besides, I'm not just into comic books and science fiction. I mean, I like music too...for example I really love Led Zeppelin. You wouldn't believe how many references to J.R.R. Tolkien there are in Battle of Evermore!"
"But this," he continued, "has really changed the way I look at myself. I'm not just a nerd, I'm a media stereotype. Basically I'm the Uncle Tom of the Wizard Magazine reading world."
However Mr. Dwight is convinced that this revelation has deeper ramifications.
"Call me crazy but I find this whole situation a little bit suspicious," Dwight said. "I mean, how do I know I'm not just a "Comic Book Guy" type character in some TV show but have never realized it before? Maybe while I was asleep or something, I slipped into an alternate reality where fictional characters are able to lead normal lives. Or maybe I never existed and I'm just the figment of some writer's imagination. This situation raises a lot of important philosophical questions."
Adam Dwight's mother rolls her eyes when asked about her son's new found existentialism. "I can assure you that my son Adam is real. I can still remember the pain of squeezing that fat lump out my cooch," Mrs. Dwight said. "Though I suppose this latest attempt to escape reality into a fantasy world is a marginal improvement over that time he refused to take those damn Spock ears off and made everyone call him Elgar Borg-Killer VII for three years."
"For someone who has apparently slipped into an alternate reality, he is suspiciously still living in my basement," she added.