Sunday, April 29, 2007

Comic Store Employee worried that he has become a 'media stereotype'

Long-time Metropolis Comix employee, Adam Dwight became self-consciously aware last Thursday of how much he conforms to the media stereotype of a 'massive geek'.

The 36 year old Plebville, Wyoming resident began to question several of his life choices when he caught sight of himself in a shop window.

"I was crossing the road during my lunch hour when I got a glimpse of my reflection in the window of Nuts about Walnuts. Needless to say I was shocked by what I saw!" Mr. Dwight said. "Basically I saw an obese guy with glasses, ginger hair, a pony-tail and a beard clad in a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts. All I needed was a greasy burrito clutched in my hand and I would have been the biggest walking stereotype of all time! Fortunately I'd just finished eating my burrito two minutes prior."

Adam Dwight: Possibly a citizen of an alernate reality

This sudden revelation has shaken Mr. Dwight's entire sense of self.

"I've never really thought of myself as a nerd before," he said. "I mean, sure, I work part-time in a comic book store, I cried when Chewbacca was killed in that Star Wars EU novel, I can speak Borg, I play Everquest II 15 hours a day and I have never had a girlfriend. But I didn't think that all those thing were somehow connected. Besides, I'm not just into comic books and science fiction. I mean, I like music too...for example I really love Led Zeppelin. You wouldn't believe how many references to J.R.R. Tolkien there are in Battle of Evermore!"

"But this," he continued, "has really changed the way I look at myself. I'm not just a nerd, I'm a media stereotype. Basically I'm the Uncle Tom of the Wizard Magazine reading world."

However Mr. Dwight is convinced that this revelation has deeper ramifications.

"Call me crazy but I find this whole situation a little bit suspicious," Dwight said. "I mean, how do I know I'm not just a "Comic Book Guy" type character in some TV show but have never realized it before? Maybe while I was asleep or something, I slipped into an alternate reality where fictional characters are able to lead normal lives. Or maybe I never existed and I'm just the figment of some writer's imagination. This situation raises a lot of important philosophical questions."

Adam Dwight's mother rolls her eyes when asked about her son's new found existentialism. "I can assure you that my son Adam is real. I can still remember the pain of squeezing that fat lump out my cooch," Mrs. Dwight said. "Though I suppose this latest attempt to escape reality into a fantasy world is a marginal improvement over that time he refused to take those damn Spock ears off and made everyone call him Elgar Borg-Killer VII for three years."

"For someone who has apparently slipped into an alternate reality, he is suspiciously still living in my basement," she added.

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