Sunday, June 24, 2007

Marvel Fanboy Starts “War” on IMDB

A Marvel Fanboy's vendetta against the film "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" has spilled into the IMDB message boards in what has been described by some parties as "World War III".

According to onlooker “garden-state_chick” the event, comparable to two horrendous global wars with a combined death toll of 100 million, began when a user called “Magneto_2000” started a thread called “Fantastic Four 2 sucks!”

“I see these sort of negative losers on IMDB all the time and I’m like, what sort of obnoxious asshole would express a negative opinion on what is clearly an excellent movie? It’s like, get a life, you know,” Garden-State_Chick says, as she replies to an IMDB thread called “101 reasons why I love Zach Braff’s dimples”.

“But this Fantastic Four thing was something else. No matter how much I pointed out how great the special effects were or how good the acting was or how hot Chris Evans looked in a spandex jumpsuit, this guy just wouldn’t back down. I felt like I was in Iraq or something.”

Ground Zero: The IMDB page for Fantastic Four 2

By all reports, the situation continued to escalate. In a counter-strike that brought back memories of the tragic Black September massacre of 1972, Magneto_2000 took his vendetta onto the “goofs” section of the IMDB page.

Witnessed by IMDB veteran “boba_fett666”, Magento_2000’s tactics were “underhanded” and “morally corrupt”.

“He started posting all these silly goofs, sometimes up to ten a day. It was all stupid stuff like “in the original comic book Galactus wasn’t a giant space cloud” and “Invisible Girl isn’t supposed to be a Latin American”…just crap that clearly didn’t belong in the goofs section. And he kept re-posting them faster than we could delete them,” Boba_fett666 states, his hands shaking as his relives the anxiety of living through a period of nightmarish upheaval. “For a few days there, it was like 9/11 all over again.”

However, in a move not dissimilar to the 1945 nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, IMDB administrators intervened by deleting all of Magneto_2000’s messages and blocking his IMDB user account.

But IMDB users remain fearful that this incident could merely be an “Afghanistan” to a bigger Iraq-esque main event.

“How do we know he won’t be back with a new user name or something and start everything all over again?” asks civilian bystander “robin_williams_fan1”.

“I’ve half a mind to get myself checked out for post-traumatic stress disorder,” he jokes.


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